Kevin's AWANA leader calls each week to check in and say hi to Kevin. Last week she mentioned to me that Kevin isn't participating in any of the games at game time. She also told me that he doesn't want to try and say his verses until he knows for sure that he can say the whole thing with no mistakes. This didn't surprise me. He doesn't like to do freeze dance at an after school program he's in either. He doesn't like to play the boardgames we have either.......UNLESS he knows he can win. Since there's no guarantee that he will win any of these things he'd rather sit out and not take that chance. At cub scouts the other night we had a melt down because they did turkey bowling. A fun activity where the boys got to try and knock over pins with frozen turkeys or maybe they were game hens. Anyway, Kevin didn't knock any over after 3 tries. I saw his whole demeanor change. He wanted to go home, NOW. Do I dare say he's a perfectionist? So, as I hear all these things I start to think about where he gets this from. Garrett and I always try to encourage him to just have fun. That winning and losing doesn't matter. He's done pretty well in T-Ball, but he's not at the point where they are keeping score yet.
As I was running yesterday I started thinking about how I prefer to run by myself. Everyone says that it's easier with a partner and while I do agree that it would probably be more fun I just haven't made an effort to ask anyone. Do you know what's keeping me from finding a partner? Hmmm do I dare say I'm a perfectionist? I don't want to run with someone until I feel like I am ready because then that would mean someone would have to see me needing to slow down and walk, or being too out of breath to talk to them. I started thinking that maybe Kevin has perhaps got the perfectionism gene passed on to him.
So where do we go from here? I know what my deal is, but how do help Kevin work through his issues? (ok, ok, I know I need to work through mine too)
3 comments:
My,my, my! That running time sure gives you time to think! Maybe that's why you've never sought out a running partner. You like the quiet time to think....
I've never really thought of you as a perfectionist, although you always liked to do well at things.And just to even up the sides, I'd suggest you ask Paula and Bob what Garrett was like at that age. If, in fact,wanting to be a perfectionist is an inherited trait, you need to check the other side of the gene pool too! Kevin has many of Garrett's traits, that I wouldn't be surprised if Garrett wasn't a similar kind of kid! Just a thought....
Tasha, you don't seem like a perfectionist to me either. Actually, none of the boys were perfectionists, so I really don't know much about it....I am curious, though. Garrett wasn't at all that way...he was very mellow and laid back...but he was cautious in new situations and slower to be comfortable with new people. Isn't it great how God has made everyone so different?
Oh my gosh I don't like to think that Kevin is putting so much pressure on himself that he can't enjoy having fun...............win or lose. Pressure time comes when one is much older, right?? I like, Paula remember Garrett as very laid back and didn't really stress over whether he won or lost. I'll check with the rest of family while we are in Mammoth and see what thought's everyone has on the subject. It breaks my heart to see Kevin put stress on himself at this age. Love you all lot's.
Susan
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